The Chisellers by Brendan O'Carroll

Author:Brendan O'Carroll [O'Carroll, Brendan]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Humour, Historical
ISBN: 9780452281226
Google: wo8LVmduFrIC
Amazon: 0452281229
Goodreads: 165166
Publisher: Plume
Published: 1995-01-02T05:00:00+00:00

That same week Agnes received a letter from her sister Dolly. Before even going on to tell Agnes of her latest complaint - a constant headache which she suspected was a brain tumour - Dolly expressed great delight that Agnes would be coming on a visit with young Trevor; and although Agnes had told Dolly in her letter of her bingo win, the two crisp $20 bills accompanied Dolly’s letter yet again. Within hours of receiving the letter Agnes set off to book her flights.

Constellation Travel in Liffey Street was owned and run by the Donegan brothers, Joe and Tim. Along with the two men, bachelors and in their fifties, the company had only one other employee and that was Margaret Sharp, who did secretarial work for the men. On the day Agnes arrived at the office, Margaret was out sick and Joe was delivering tickets to a client across town. Tim was a little disgruntled - dealing with members of the public was not his forte, and he dreaded being left to mind the store. Tim was on the ‘phone when Agnes entered the office. He indicated as much to her and he hoped by the time he was finished his call that Joe would have returned. In the meantime, Agnes browsed through a couple of brochures, speaking the names of the destinations aloud.

‘Mag-a-loof. Jesus!’ She picked up another brochure. ‘Santa-pooz-na. Mother of God!’

Tim was now standing at the counter and by way of opening the conversation, he said to Agnes, ‘Well, Madam, fancy a trip to the sun?’ He smiled.

Agnes spun around to face him. ‘Oh God no, luv! I’d never go anywhere I couldn’t pronounce.’

‘Well then, what can I do for you?’ Tim suspected this lady was here to enquire about a trip to Lourdes. Another miracle-chaser, he thought.

Agnes placed her handbag on the counter and smiled at the man. ‘I want to go to Canada.’

Tim returned the smile. He took a pad and pencil and began to make notes. ‘Right, Canada. And where in Canada?’

‘Me sister’s.’

Tim looked up from the pad. The lady was still smiling, so this obviously wasn’t a joke. He tried again.

‘And where does your sister live?’

‘I told yeh - in Canada.’

‘Yes, but whereabouts in Canada?’

‘Oh sorry, luv.’ Agnes began to root in her handbag and extracted Dolly’s letter. She read the address aloud. ‘1202 Ironwood Court.’

Tim nodded at the lady slowly in a silent gesture for her to go on with the rest of the address but she didn‘t, she just looked again and smiled.

‘And where is Ironwood Court?’

Agnes was now getting towards the end of her tether. ‘In fuckin’ Canada.’

Tim made a gentle tug at the letter. Agnes hung on.

‘May I have a look at the address, please?’ he asked, exasperated.

Reluctantly Agnes let him have the letter, but folded it in half before handing it over so he couldn’t read the whole page.

Tim said aloud. ‘Ah! I see - in Toronto in Canada.’

Agnes nodded her head. ‘Good man.’

Tim bent under the counter to get himself a fare-and-route manual.

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